In 2016, I began to work on separating my sense of self-worth from the performance of my business and external validation. I’m trying to replace the world’s sliding scale of value with an internal scale of value. 

The world’s value scale is based on externalities - performance, achievement, possessions, and appearances. The sense of self-worth and success rise and fall according to these externalities and how we feel we are being perceived.

An internal value scale is based on clearly defined core values and a definition of success that is specific to me. This clarity provides a sense of self-worth that isn’t dependent on external factors.

The process has been centered around growing in self-awareness and recognizing patterns of thought and action that aren’t serving me well. I then work on creating new patterns of thought and action to replace them.

This has been a process of emergence - there’s not one single event or process of revelation that has occurred. Instead, it is multiple things working together to form a new way of thinking.

These are the things that I’ve spent time doing over the last 6 years that have helped me in this process:

• Learning to meditate
• Participating in a right-of-passage retreat
• Participating in guided psychedelic experiences 
• Going to therapy by myself and with my wife
• Learning about the Enneagram
• Working with a coach
• Reading great books 
• Creating the habit of writing

This process has had a profound impact on me. I’m not the same person that I was when the journey began. But at the same time, it feels like the journey has just begun and there’s always something being uncovered.

Growing in self-awareness and living by an internal scale of value is a process where we never arrive at an endpoint. It seems like it will always unfold into another level of discovery.

That’s what makes it a worthwhile journey.