My friend sent me this sentence in a text months ago and it’s been rattling around in my head ever since. 

I see this in myself and, especially, in my two boys. But what is true individually is often true universally.

Words are worthless.

As someone who writes daily, I don’t think I agree that words are worthless. However, I agree that saying we’re going to do something is a small step beyond thinking about doing something. There’s still a massive gap between saying it and actually doing it.

Words without action are worthless and actions are directly linked to incentives.

Incentives are everything.

“Show me the incentive and I’ll show you the outcome.” 
- Charlie Munger

We can’t escape it, actions are intrinsically linked to incentives. This is true when negotiating with a toddler or a salesperson. “What’s in it for me?” is an inescapable part of the human condition.

But if we can see beyond the need for immediate satisfaction and alter our behaviours to play the long game we get into interesting territory.

Behaviour reveals character.

My current dad-ism that gets quoted at least twice a week in our house is “How we do anything is how we do everything.” Though it is typically met with eye-rolls, I hope that this phrase burrows into my son’s minds so that they choose to avoid shortcuts and recognize that their repeated actions are what shape their character over time.

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Words are worthless - What can I do instead of say?

Incentives are everything - Are the incentives aligned with the desired outcome?

Behaviour reveals character - How do I act when no one is looking?