“Work/life balance” might be one of the most misleading phrases in modern life. It sounds reasonable, even desirable. But it flattens the complexity of how we really live. Life isn’t two opposing sides of a scale.

If you’re a solopreneur or entrepreneur there is a constant pull between the work and non-work parts of your life. The tension makes sense because both areas are important to us. We want to be at our best in both.

We’re also very aware when the work pulls us away from the non-work part of our lives. We’re physically present at the dinner table but our mind is back at work. 

We skip the workout to wrap up those last tasks.

The concept of the work/life balance comes from the idea that work and life are the two sides of an equation that we need to solve.

But the balanced equation model doesn’t work because it over-simplifies what goes into the categories of work and life. It’s not a balancing act between two things because it’s more than two things. It’s everything. It’s life. 

It’s relationships, it’s health, it’s time alone, it’s meaningful time with others, it’s mundane tasks, it’s sales calls, it’s kids home sick from school, it’s aging parents who need our help.

It’s not an equation to be solved. It’s a life to be lived.

We want to experience all of these things. To be present and mindful and to be at our best in each aspect of life that we find ourselves in.

The concept of work/life balance feels like we’re keeping score, a running tally of tic marks in each area of life. Balance implies an opposition between each part of our lives that matter deeply to us. 

There’s another metaphor to consider for this, one that may allow us to view life as a whole and not as opposing sides of an equation.

Harmony is the metaphor that I prefer to use instead of balance. 

Harmony implies integration. Harmony in music is how distinct and different notes come together to form a whole. The tension among the notes gets resolved through harmony.

Harmony honors the whole. It allows for contrast, it builds up and resolves over time. 

When we think of life as harmony, we allow each part of our life to contribute to a more integrated whole. The music might change, new sounds may come forward or draw back, but it’s all part of the same piece that works together to become something wonderful.