Choosing your partner is the most important decision you’ll make in life.
The earlier you learn how to communicate with each other, the better.
Go to couples therapy before you think you need it.
You don’t need to talk about it immediately, but you need to talk about it within 24 hours.
Shared values & a similar outlook on life are the foundation of a lasting relationship.
Everyone is looking for love and acceptance but we all give and receive it differently.
The 2-week canoe test - don’t marry anyone until you’ve been on a 2-week canoe trip with them.
Life is better together.
Give each other space to go on trips with friends or solo. Not every adventure needs to be together.
The Enneagram is the best interpersonal relationship tool and has had the biggest impact on my marriage.
Not everything is about me.
Being married is like having a mirror held up to your face at all times - your good and bad sides become very clear.
Having children is like having a full-length mirror held in front of you - the full extent of your good and bad sides are revealed.
Growing together happens when we each support and encourage the other in growing individually.
Keeping a score leads to both people losing.
Radical generosity towards the other person is at the core of a lasting relationship.
Get clear on your own needs and wants and learn how to communicate them.
Spend time together with couples who have been married longer than you.
Sex, finances & communication - these are the 3 things that destroy marriages. Get good at each of them.
Marriage doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.

20 things I've learned in 20 years of marriage